My Immortal: A Commentary
by Imagination is king
Summary: Hello! So yeah, I'm tackling what is known as perhaps the worst story on the Internet! ... This is gonna suck isn't it?
1. Here we go

**Hello everyone!**

 **Welcome to My Immortal, a story that, although I've heard horror stories about it, have never read. Nor have I read any of the Commentaries on it. With that said, I'll try to be fresh and funny with this, so let's go!**

 **Special thanks to SpecialDreamin for putting the story on Fanfiction, and again, I've never read a Commentary on this story, so any jokes or comments that are similar to a different commentary are unintentional.**

Chapter 1.

AN: Special fangz (get it, coz Im goffik)

 **Oh goody aren't we in for a great boys and girls!**

2 my gf (ew not in that way)

 **Yeah yeah, not in love with her except you totally are, been there, done that.**

raven, bloodytearz666 4 helpin me wif da story and spelling.

 **… Please tell me you did a good job…**

U rok! Justin

 **WHO DA FUCK IS JUSTIN?! I mean, what was his job?! Sit back and eat chips while he watched you write this?!**

ur da luv of my deprzzing life

 **… I know you're goth, which I admittedly know very little about, but I'm pretty sure 'da luv of my deprzzing life' is some kind of oxymoron.**

u rok 2! MCR ROX!

 **WHO THE HELL ARE MCR?! Stop saying thanks to things I don't know about story that can't actually reply!**

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Hi my name is Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way

 **(Southern Drawl.) Well ain't you just a fancy little darlin' with all your middle names.**

and I have long ebony black hair (that's how I got my name) with purple streaks and red tips that reaches my mid-back and icy blue eyes like limpid tears

 **I believe tears woulda done just fine thank you very much.**

and a lot of people tell me I look like Amy Lee

 **I have no clue who that is, but if I did, I would probably be very cross with you.**

(AN: if u don't know who she is get da hell out of here!).

 **Welp, you heard her. (Walks off.)**

 **…**

 **(Walks back in.) Nevermind I can't leave. Where were we?**

I'm not related to Gerard Way but I wish I was because he's a major fucking hottie.

 **But… That defeats the purpose if that's why you wanna be related to him. Also, WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING.**

I'm a vampire but my teeth are straight and white.

 **Okay. First off, you don't use 'I'm a vampire' to segway into your teeth. Also, WHY WAS THIS NOT MENTIONED EARLIER AND SLIGHTLY LESS CASUALLY.**

I have pale white skin. I'm also a witch, and I go to a magic school called Hogwarts

 **Suddenly Harry Potter.**

in England where I'm in the seventh year (I'm seventeen).

 **Because no one who could've clicked on this story wouldn't possibly know that. It's not like they weren't Harry Potter fans or anything!**

I'm a goth (in case you couldn't tell)

 **(Surprised gasp.) I never even noticed it! I would've never figured that out in a million years! (Sarcasm sarcasm sarcasm.)**

and I wear mostly black. I love Hot Topic and I buy all my clothes from there.

 **Guess who's never been there! This guy!**

For example today I was wearing

 **Oh goody, fashion! (Falls asleep.)**

a black corset with matching lace around it and a black leather miniskirt, pink fishnets and black combat boots. I was wearing black lipstick, white foundation, black eyeliner and red eye shadow.

 **ZZZZZZZZzzzzz… Huh? It's over? M'kay.**

I was walking outside Hogwarts. It was snowing and raining so there was no sun

 **I'm pretty sure it can only be raining or snowing. Not both.**

, which I was very happy about

 **Ah yes, you hate the sun don't you?**

. A lot of preps stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them.

 **How rude! For all you knew, they were admiring your fashion ZZZZZZZZzzzzz…. (Wakes up.) style!**

"Hey Ebony!" shouted a voice. I looked up. It was…. Draco Malfoy!

 **Tadah! Now to see how you do at staying in character!**

"What's up Draco?" I asked.

"Nothing." he said shyly.

 **… BITCH IF YOU DON'T-**

 **(Technical difficulties! Please wait a moment.)**

 **Alright, I'm calm. (Sitting in a pile of Hot Pockets, Dr. Pepper, and Sweetarts.) Carry on.**

But then, I heard my friends call me and I had to go away.

 **Well that conversation lasted two fucking seconds and still took forever!**

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AN: IS it good? PLZ tell me fangz!

 **(Sits intensely thinking.) … Hm… NO.**

 **Regardless, if you guys liked my Commentary, tell me! If you don't , tell me! But until then… See ya!**


	2. Stupid Cliffhangers

**Guess who's back, back again… ME FOOLS!**

Chapter 2.

AN: Fangz 2 bloodytearz666 4 helpin me wif da chapta! BTW preps stop flaming ma story ok!

 **Nah.**

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The next day I woke up in my bedroom. It was snowing and raining again. I opened the door of my coffin

 **Oh of course you do!**

and drank some blood from a bottle I had. My coffin was

 **You are not about to go into explicit detail about a coffin-**

black ebony and inside it was hot pink velvet with black lace on the ends.

 **Dammit!**

I got out of my coffin and took of my giant MCR t-shirt which I used for pajamas. Instead, I put on a black leather dress, a pentagram necklace, combat boots and black fishnets on. I put on four pairs of earrings in my pierced ears, and put my hair in a kind of messy bun.

 **ZZZZZZZZzzzzz** …

My friend, Willow (AN: Raven dis is u!)

 **Sadly.**

woke up then and grinned at me. She flipped her long waist-length raven black hair with pink streaks and opened her forest-green eyes. She put on her Marilyn Manson t-shirt with a black mini, fishnets and pointy high-heeled boots. We put on our makeup (black lipstick white foundation and black eyeliner.)

 **Zzz… Yay, more fashion…**

"OMFG, I saw you talking to Draco Malfoy yesterday!" she said excitedly.

 **HOLD UP. YOU DID NOT JUST USE TEXT SPEAK. THAT IS JUST… NO!**

"Yeah? So?" I said, blushing.

 **Why are you blushing? It's not like whenever I say I talk to someone I blush**.

"Do you like Draco?"

 **WELL NO SHIT SHE LIKES DRACO. IT'S THE LEAST STUPIDEST THING IN THIS STORY.**

she asked as we went out of the Slytherin

 **Of course you are.**

common room and into the Great Hall.

"No I so fucking don't!" I shouted.

 **OK, A, don't shout. B, YOU LIE.**

"Yeah right!" she exclaimed. Just then, Draco walked up to me.

"Hi." he said.

"Hi." I replied flirtily.

 **Well your lie lasted about two seconds.**

"Guess what." he said.

 **You're gonna make her head explode?!**

"What?" I asked.

"Well, Good Charlotte are having a concert in Hogsmeade." he told me.

 **Oh goody, another person I know nothing about! YIPPEE!**

"Oh. My. Fucking. God!" I screamed. I love GC. They are my favorite band, besides MCR.

 **Ah yes, those guys.**

"Well…. do you want to go with me?" he asked.

I gasped.

 **Wait, that's it? THAT'S YOUR END OF CHAPTER CLIFFHANGER?! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!**


End file.
